


A Decisive Distraction

by Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains



Series: Of Tears and Ash [26]
Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Genre: Banter, Discussion, Gen, Ridiculous dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25883584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains/pseuds/Pearl_Pilots_In_Chains
Summary: Iphicles attempts to tell Orestes a story once again, but Orestes claims to be too distracted by something else that's on his mind to listen.
Series: Of Tears and Ash [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1050806
Kudos: 8





	A Decisive Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one of my HTLJ fics from 2018 (set in my "Of Tears and Ash" AU) that I never posted, but decided I might as well, considering the time I put into them. Once again, since I'm no longer really in the fandom, I'm backdating this to when I wrote it, so no one thinks I'm suddenly back into HTLJ.

Iphicles glared over at his friend, knowing full well what about to transpire.As per their usual routine, they had both taken a spot in the wagon as the merchants gathered about the campfire after the evening meal.Kadmos was off about on his patrol, meaning that Iphicles had a brief window of opportunity for persuasive storytelling before Kadmos returned, as per the agreement which Iphicles and Orestes had made the previous night.Moments earlier, Iphicles had asked Orestes whether he was interested in finally hearing his tale.He know expected Orestes to attempt to come up with some form of excuse, however ridiculous it might be, or, if that tactic proved futile, engage Iphicles in some sort of pointless argument that would serve to waste time until Kadmos arrived back from his walk, at which point Iphicles’s window of opportunity would shut.Iphicles, however, wasn’t about to stand for his comrade’s evasive tactics, and he was determined to call Orestes out on them this time, and actually relate his story.He was very much intent on winning this round of their game sooner rather than later, whatever it took do so.

Orestes began to speak, responding to Iphicles’s question and rousing him from his thoughts.“Ah, my friend, I would very much love to hear your story under almost any circumstance, with the lone exception of the one in which I now find myself.You see, I am in a most desperate position, and I fear that I would be unable to lend the proper ear to your tale at this time, for how vexed and plagued my mind is with other business that draws away any focus or attention I might be able to muster.Surely you have been in similar situations yourself on certain occasions, have you not?”

“I suppose I have experienced a similar state of mind myself at times,” Iphicles continued.“However, it could be argued that everyone deals with that sort of mental state from time to time.And furthermore,” he added, “I can’t help but feel as though you are merely deflecting as usual, my friend, no offense to you.”

“Ah, none at all taken, I guarantee you.I understand your perspective well enough.If I was in your position, I might hold a similar belief myself.I certainly cannot fault you for your suspicions in the matter,” Orestes replied rapidly.“But let me reassure you, the troubled state of my mind is a wholly factual affair, and not merely a fictitious construct designed to avert your attempt at storytelling.”The look which spread across Orestes face was an expression of sincerity, but Iphicles still couldn’t help but be a bit dubious at least.All the same, he decided to give his comrade the benefit of the doubt.

“Very well,” Iphicles acceded.“Let us say that I believe your assertion that your mind is troubled by other business.Perhaps I can help you deal with this business in some way, so that it might be resolved and no longer bother you so.What exactly is it that vexes your mind, my friend?”

“Well, it is a difficult thing to come right out and explain,” Orestes demurred.“I fear that it might lead to misunderstanding or confusion if we discussed it, and neither of those outcomes are ones which I am eager to reach.Nevertheless, it is something which I feel I must divulge at least to some extent, regardless of how hesitant I may be at the prospect of doing so.”

Iphicles raised an eyebrow.“Come now, my friend, you don’t need to worry about any misunderstandings or confusion between us.I am sure that whatever it is that confounds your mind, together we will be able to confront and resolve it.”

Orestes smiled, “Ah, good Iphicles, I appreciate your sentiment regarding this matter.Your encouragement is much needed.”He paused for a moment, and then nodded.“Very well then, I’ll do my best to explain the nature of the matter which boggles my mind.”Orestes took a deep breath, and then continued, “You see, my friend, I have come to a certain realization regarding the nature of a great deal of the conversation which passes between the two of us.This revelation which I have reached is a rather sobering one, for the light it casts upon many of our interactions is not a pleasant one, but rather one which shades everything in a fairly disagreeable light, which is not kind to any eye which gazes upon it for too long.”

Iphicles tilted his head, his interest raised by his friend’s statement.“And what would this revelation of yours happen to be?”He queried, his curiosity evident in his voice.

“It is this, good Iphicles: I have observed that many of the interactions between us are quite redundant.Many of the topics which we discuss are ones which we have conversed on at great length on previous occasions.We are already both aware of our respective opinions on these matters, yet nonetheless, we continually debate them, each arguing for a particular view, despite the fact that we both know that it is unlikely we will change each other’s stances.In addition, I have also noticed that many of our discussions are excessively verbose, to the extent where if a third party was to listen to them, this individual might have difficulty following the trajectory which many of them take.Though we both are familiar enough with the patterns of speech which we each utilize on a regular basis, those unfamiliar with them might find it a not insignificant challenge to parse our dialogue and discern precisely what it is that we are saying at the core of our discourse at any given time.Do you follow what I mean?”

Iphicles stroked his chin thoughtfully, before nodding to signal his understanding.“I see what you are saying, good Orestes.And yet, simultaneously, I feel as though your twin realizations, as true as they may be, are not cause for any substantial alarm.You have merely recognized characteristics of our conversations.In fact, I am now rather dubious once again as to your intentions in bringing up these supposed revelations, as knowing you as well as I do, it seems highly unlikely to me that you would be troubled by these facts.We are both willing enough participants in our numerous discussions, despite the fact that we are both aware of the fairly absurd patterns which they frequently follow.To take it one step further, I would argue that we are both not only willing participants in our conversations, but that we quite enjoying the inane qualities which they possess.What do you say to that?”

Orestes raised a hand to his mouth as he listened to Iphicles’s riposte, and Iphicles was quite certain that his friend was hiding a grin.He was unusually quiet when Iphicles finished speaking.After a few seconds passed, Iphicles prompted his friend once more, “So, do you have anything to say to my accusations, or should I merely assume that my suspicions are correct, and that this ridiculous exercise in articulation has been nothing more than a ploy to waste time so that you could once again evade my storytelling?Because if that is the case, then I assure you, I can quicken the pace of my story, so it fits within the time left before Kadmos returns.I’d be more than happy to relate a summary of the events within it to you, rather than the entirety of it, if that’s what you would prefer.For example, I could begin by telling you about where it all began, in the town of—”

“Well now, well now, don’t be so hasty there, my comrade,” Orestes hastily interrupted.“I was simply considering your observations, so that I could compose a suitable response to them.Please, do not interpret my silence as tantamount to a confession of mischief.Truth be told, my heart is wounded by the very inference.To think that you assume I am capable of such trickery!I am insulted, my friend, most terribly insulted!I believed you thought more highly of me than that, but I can see now that I was utterly mistaken.This is a sad day, good Iphicles, a sad, sad day.One which will live on in infamy for many months in my memory, at the very least, and perhaps even longer.If I am particularly unlucky, which based on the events which have just transpired, it would seem that I am, these memories may linger with me for nigh an eternity, tormenting my mind for years unnumbered!” 

Iphicles was quick to note that Orestes’s voice was unstable for the entirety of his speech, as if he was attempting to hold back a fit of laugher.He scrutinized his friend critically, not believing Orestes’s apparent outrage for an instant.“Alright then,” Iphicles’s began, “I think I shall continue with my story now.”

Orestes quickly raised a hand.“Ah, but it seems as though the time for that has passed, unfortunately.”He inclined his head to the side.Iphicles’s looked in this direction, and saw that Kadmos was approaching, back from his patrol.Iphicles sighed, rolling his eyes.It was at this point that Orestes lost control and began to chuckle heartily.

Iphicles glared over at his friend.“That’s the last time I agree to hear you out when you say you have something ‘plaguing your mind.’”

Orestes, replied, through laughter, “You know, I really didn’t expect you to buy it this time, my friend.I was pleasantly surprised.I’ll keep that in mind though.Next time, my mind will be ‘beset,’ rather than ‘plagued.’”

Iphicles rolled his eyes once more.“The only thing your mind is ‘beset’ by is an affinity for duplicitous dialogue.”

Orestes raised his hands in a half-shrug.“You call it duplicitous, I call it creative.It’s all a matter of perspective really.”

“Riiiighht, perspective,” Iphicles intoned sarcastically.

Orestes only laughed harder at this.Kadmos, who had now arrived and was climbing into the wagon, looked curiously over at the other two guards.“Did I miss something?”He inquired curiously.

“No,” Iphicles replied.

“Definitely,” Orestes managed to respond through his giggles.Iphicles and Orestes each turned to glare at each other for a moment, before Iphicles began to chuckle as well.Kadmos merely scratched his head, looking moderately bemused.


End file.
